Re-Entry

Damn you, holiday madness!  Now I get to clean up the mess, and I'm brutally reminded that I longer have the vow of poverty protecting me from well-meaning givers of tchotchke.  As a matter of fact, it didn't protect me then!  I just didn't feel as badly re-gifting Christmas paraphernalia when I owned nothing.  Now I quite literally face the dilemma of whether or not to allow my children to open a box of toys that I deem EXCESS.  I just want to avoid the whole thing.  Like last year!  It took me almost all of 2013 to face the remains of December 2012.  The greeting I want to hear this first week of January is not "Happy New Year," but "A Brave Re-Entry to You!"

I've spent the past six weeks getting by with minimal house-cleaning, washing/drying laundry but never folding it, making cookies when the sink's already full of dishes, and creating gifts out of toilet paper rolls.  Now the piles of paperwork and the guest room full of ornament tubs are SCREAMING at me, insisting I take care of them yesterday.  And I want to exercise my Catholic right to cuss.

Would it make any difference to forfeit Christmas in 2014?  Can I announce the reinstatement of my vow of poverty?  How was it so easy THEN to say, "please no gifts....only monetary donations to the Sisterhood."  Ha!  Could you see me now?  The Ball Community would like all holiday observances to take the form of CASH in plain white envelopes.  Wouldn't that be a fantastic way to start 2015!?

It's like I've entered some kind of Scrooge-reversal.  I'm Scrooge, but the Tiny Tim version of Scrooge.  "God bless us, everyone....with MONEY."  But it's not like that, because I would rather have nothing at all then gifts.  I would rather have a meal together, an open bottle of wine, a round of carols where everyone sings regardless of ability.  Is that too much to ask....to avoid the commercial Christmas?  I feel the depression pulling at my edges already.  January has never been my friend.  Can I attempt re-entry without the anger and despair?  What is the key?  I don't have the answer right now.  But while I shift the packages around and throw away tinsel, I hope some Spirit will visit me with the answer.